Story Navigation
Notable Individuals

Mark Tobey (1890-1976),

famous artist, dedicated and devout Baha'i, was gay. His life and work were commemorated.. More

Powered by Squarespace
« Disenchanted | Main | Hershl's Story with comments »

Not gay, but not straight

As a woman married to another woman, society--as well as the Baha'i Faith--calls me "lesbian." But while society at large is becoming more open and accepting, the Faith still condemns our love--if not us as individuals.

But here's the thing: we don't consider ourselves "lesbian." My wife is a naturally born woman--what we call "cis." I am a trans-woman; that is, I was cursed with a birth defect: I happen to be a woman who was born into a male body. We are in love with each other, not with any silly label. A very dear friend put it so simply for us once: "Molly, you're a Lisa-sexual--you're oriented on Lisa. Lisa, you're a Molly-sexual--you're oriented on Molly.

I didn't ask to be born this way. We didn't ask to fall in love. In fact, we fought it for a very long time. I even prayed--sometimes tearfully--to Baha'u'llah--about what was happening.

Ultimately, I decided that a kind, just and loving God would NOT curse me with this birth defect and then deny me the ultimate happiness of marrying my one true love.

So here we are: having to hide the true nature of our relationship from our Baha'i community for fear of administrative reprisals.

And incidentally, her parents --both Baha'i's--are more accepting of me and our marriage than my own Evangelical Christian relatives.

But make no mistake: if we were forced to choose between our marriage and standing in the Baha'i Community, we would not hesitate. After all, is not divorce strongly condemned in the Faith?

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend