As a woman married to another woman, society--as well as the Baha'i Faith--calls me "lesbian." But while society at large is becoming more open and accepting, the Faith still condemns our love--if not us as individuals.
But here's the thing: we don't consider ourselves "lesbian." My wife is a naturally born woman--what we call "cis." I am a trans-woman; that is, I was cursed with a birth defect: I happen to be a woman who was born into a male body. We are in love with each other, not with any silly label. A very dear friend put it so simply for us once: "Molly, you're a Lisa-sexual--you're oriented on Lisa. Lisa, you're a Molly-sexual--you're oriented on Molly.
I didn't ask to be born this way. We didn't ask to fall in love. In fact, we fought it for a very long time. I even prayed--sometimes tearfully--to Baha'u'llah--about what was happening.
Ultimately, I decided that a kind, just and loving God would NOT curse me with this birth defect and then deny me the ultimate happiness of marrying my one true love.
So here we are: having to hide the true nature of our relationship from our Baha'i community for fear of administrative reprisals.
And incidentally, her parents --both Baha'i's--are more accepting of me and our marriage than my own Evangelical Christian relatives.
But make no mistake: if we were forced to choose between our marriage and standing in the Baha'i Community, we would not hesitate. After all, is not divorce strongly condemned in the Faith?