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Mark Tobey (1890-1976),

famous artist, dedicated and devout Baha'i, was gay. His life and work were commemorated.. More

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Married to a devout Baha'i

I am married to a devout Baha'i. I was raised a Christian but I am not a member of any religion. I think spirituality and religion are mutually exclusive.

I will start by saying that I love my wife with all my heart and there is nobody whom I respect more. My wife was raised as a Baha’i. She accepts all the teachings of the Baha'i faith although she often struggles with the Baha'i view on homosexuality. She has decided that as difficult as it may be, she must accept the faith’s writings on homosexuality as she accepts all the writings.

I often wonder what would happen if one of our children told us they were homosexual. How would she react to this? Would she tell our child that he/she could no longer call her/himself a Baha’i? Would she say that homosexual acts are wrong? Would she say that they had a choice of resigning from the faith or being celibate?

Would her love of our children outweigh her love of her faith? If her love of God outweighs all else, does her love of her faith also outweigh all else? I fully expect that she would choose religion over me and I accept that (second to God is better than second to money or fame). I don’t know if I could accept her choosing faith over her children though.

I don't hope that my children are not gay. That is like saying I hope my children don’t like purple. They are who they are.

I don’t want to bring these questions up because I don’t know how to without it seeming like an attack. Is it necessary that I know how she would react (or rather how she thinks she would react)?


Concerned Father

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